Cultural Emotional Intelligence: Deeper Than Skin

Cultural emotional intelligence is merely using emotional intelligence to think about issues of culture. Too often these discussions are avoided, or ineffective because of the emotional baggage people bring to them. Clearly, emotional intelligence, the ability to understand and regulate my own emotions while understanding and adjusting to the emotions of others, offers a new way to approach issues of human diversity. Cutting through the emotional quagmire enables us to bring much needed logic and reason into an issue that has plagued us for far too long.

The very term “race” for example is problematic. Scientists agree that there is no real biological basis for such a distinction among people. In other words, there is really no such thing as race. The term merely represents a social construct that was created in a really dark era in our history. But what does it mean today? Let’s consider this issue through a cultural emotional intelligence lens.

Here are just a few tidbits about me:

• Married
• No kids
• Lived abroad
• African American
• Grew up in public housing in East St. Louis, IL
• One of five siblings
• Extrovert
• Registered independent
• Big picture thinker
• Attended an Ivy League school
• Live in the south
• Earned a doctorate degree
• Enjoy playing golf, acting and drawing
• St. Louis Cardinals baseball fan

I could have listed thousands of items, but what is the item most different on the list? Of all of the listed items, the only one that is obvious by just looking at me is that I am African American. The other items could have been from someone else’s list, regardless of their ethnic background.
Unfortunately, because it is the characteristic that people see, it becomes the one people use to define me. When I say something, people think I feel this way just because I am Black. What a mistake! It is true that my perspective has been shaped by growing up Black in America. There is a history and a set of shared experiences and expectations that comes along with being a particular race even though there is no biological basis for race. People develop thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors in response to those experiences and expectations.

Certainly, there are issues that the majority of African Americans might agree on, particularly when it comes to the treatment of African Americans; however, the other characteristics on the list matter immensely. There is a tremendous amount of diversity within any group. African Americans with doctorate degrees, for example, think differently about particular issues when compared to African Americans who are high school drop-outs. Similarly, African Americans who are detailed oriented will surely approach their work differently than African Americans who are big picture thinkers. Black people in the south sometimes feel differently than Black people in the northeast about issues. Race is an important item on the list, but it is just one item. Our behavior is deeper than skin. In fact, a married White person who has a college degree might have much more in common with a married Black person who has a college degree than he or she would with a White high school drop-out; therefore, we must be careful when describing people that we don’t get caught up in blanket statements like “White people think this” and “Black people think that.”

All of our individual experiences form these bullet points that are inextricably tied together. It is impossible to just speak as an African American; moreover, it is impossible to speak for African America. One person cannot adequately express what it is like for every person that shares one of these bullet points with them because each person has thousands of other bullets that help shape their perspective. Depending on the subject matter, other individual characteristics become more pronounced in shaping opinions and behaviors. If we are talking about child rearing, the fact that one has no kids becomes a really important factor. If the subject is poverty, the fact that one grew up poor matters a lot. If we happened to be debating relationships, being married certainly shapes one’s opinion.

Exploring such issues through a cultural emotional intelligence lens opens the door for true self-reflection, honest dialogue, and real solutions. Imagine the possibilities.